Coping with Negative People

Coping with Negative Behavior without Becoming Negative Yourself

This workshop is designed for those who want to develop skills and perspective for coping with negative people — be it a boss, colleague, peer or client. It is a reality that some people are born jerks, live their life that way, and that's how they will check out. It is also a reality that some people don't know how to be a "good" person when working with others. It is also a reality that we cannot change people. So much for the bad news. The good news is we do have the power to change our own behavior and learn how to cope positively with our situation. In doing so, we may even influence those with whom we are having conflict to examine their own behavior.

Trust your feelings. If you feel sad…cry. If you feel angry... get mad. Don’t hold it in. Let it out. But remember these are your feelings. Don't dump responsibility for your own feelings on anyone else. Blaming other people will not help... even if they are to blame.

– from the book "Nasty People" by Jay Carter

This workshop is designed to help participants to:

• Mediate conflict with the boss, associates and significant others.
• Take the "first step" to resolve conflict with a peer, boss, customer or associate.
• Apply a step-by-step approach to resolving conflict.
• Communicate assertively when working with difficult people or situations.
• Develop skills to stay "grounded" when someone attacks you personally.
• Learn to stay assertive and stand up for yourself when someone is uncivil or behaving "ugly."
• Build good will even when working for a "certified" jerk.
• Use conflict resolution techniques as a way to build better workplace relationships.
• Be empathetic and to communicate with diplomacy and discretion.
• Manage stress before it manages you.
• Learn what "pushes your buttons" and what may push other people’s buttons.
• Practice the gentle are of verbal self-defense.
• Pick battles big enough to matter and small enough to win.
• Build a "philosophy for the trenches" that will help you when working with difficult people to:
  • Keep your sense of humor.
  • Put pressure on others to be positive by being positive yourself.
  • Give up your need to be right and instead do the right thing.
  • Vent appropriately, with focus and often.
  • Do your job and do it well.
• Hold your boss and your organization accountable for treating you with dignity and respect.
• Identify a leader's (boss) responsibility in building a workplace of mutual respect.
• Identify your own responsibility in building a workplace of mutual respect.
• Keep your own personal ethics in practice even when working with or for someone who may have been phi beta kappa in college point grade average but flunked "How to Be a Good Person 101."